Go For It! There's a rainbow waiting

At Wednesday's art therapy group we began by doing a simple warm-up. She called it a "graffiti" drawing whatever that meant to us individually, but she asked us to focus on letting go of the day. I drew a wall and sketched statements about all the worries and frustrations from my day then drew pink wings attached to the wall and wrote "take them away on angel's wings".

Next we picked a haiku poem and were to do an art project in relation to it. I chose two. The first was "A summer shower - a woman sits alone gazing outside." I think I liked that one because I have so often sat and watched the rain or people pass out a window with a cup of tea and got lost in contemplation, daydreams and such. I did a sketch with pencils, some graphite and some coloured, of a large window and sill. A tea cup sat steaming on the sill, an empty chair sat in front of it. In the window hung a green branch, a red house beneath, a blue sky, and a warm yellow glow. I remembered that the poem had mentioned a shower but I felt like making it sunny. I then skethced a figure of a naked woman on a magazine page with the pattern of a cloud studded sky then cut her out and placed her on the chair. She had a round bottom and her back was to the viewer, half facing the window. When I was cutting I accidentally ripped her feet off and just left them. Later as I was puting some materials away I reached into a bin and felt sand. It seemed right to have the ground be sandy, as if her feet were stuck in there. Unfortunately when I felt the sand I didn't realise it was red sand but I used it anyway even though it ended up different than I expected. I completed that piece quickly and moved on to a second poem, "A nightingale's song Brings me out of a dream: The morning glows."

I chose to do another collage with magazine images as I did last week, and similarly the page was divided only this time I let the division find itself rather than drawing it in. On the right was a girl with a not so happy face covered by a blanket. A blue bird shape hung above her, pointing towards the division. Below her was a picture of a man at a desk covered in papers and one of a red fox. There was also a picture of deep blue water to her right. On the left side of the page I chose very colorful pictures of plants and animals, of swirling skirts and people smiling, trees flowers, faces. It was full of life and joy.

After we completed our works the facilitator asked us to ask our image(s) "What does the image want to do?" we were to use our non-dominant hand and answer this and then write out as many questions as we would like to ask the image as if we were getting to know it. I can't remember all that I wrote but I think both women were waiting and watching, wanting to go outside, participate, etc. but neither had feet! Later we asked is there any message for me now? Does the image have something to say to me? I wrote quite a lot on the page but at the end came, "It's sunny outside, find your feet and go for it!" "There's a rainbow waiting" Interestingly two other women in the group wrote very similar things. One woman's said "Go For It" and spoke of having trust and another woman's said, "Just do it" and also spoke of trusting. So I suppose that was the message for the week. To trust (I like the word faith better) and go for it! There is a rainbow waiting!

Love and Peace
XX

Gaining Confidence

I have my art therapy group again tonight and I realise that I haven't blogged about it for a couple of weeks so I better write a little bit before I leave the house for tonight's session. I missed the fourth session because my friend, who has kindly offered to take care of my son while I attend, was sick, but I hear they had an interesting experience doing silent group work, multiple people working on the same piece! For the fifth session last week we began by drawing with both hands again, then were to draw the rain as it fell. How interesting it was to see how differently we portrayed rain! The third exercise was to draw our energy at the time. I felt very fresh and new, and a little quiet and timid, so I drew a girl in a pink dress holding balloons. Her teddy sat on the bed behind her. After the warm ups we delved into the main project for the evening. We were to pick one or more of the statements on the board and do a related artwork. Some were related to childhood memories and the path of life. I chose one that said "A time you made a successful step toward independence". My first vision was a sillouhette of a woman (me I suppose) in a flowing rainbow dress dancing barefoot next to the beach. I remembered the time before I met my current partner when I was discovering myself. I drew the black figure looking upwards with hair blowing backwards, the dress billowing below in various colours of purple. Flowers were blooming in a tree next to me and I was barefoot on the grass with the beach to my left. It wa s time I did a lot of paintings related to seeds so I wrote "Seed" and "Dance in the center of the circle" because I consciously made an effort to belong and began dancing at the center of dance events rather than at the periphery and amazingly as soon as I decided I belonged, I did. I made more friends, I had a lot of interest from potential suitors, etc.

After revisiting that powerful time in my past I then began a collage about a previous partner, someone I was in a passionate and tumultuous affair with for seven years off and on before finally breaking away. My heart was broken again and again but I continued to be drawn to him because he showed me that I could love and be loved deeply. I began by drawing a big black zig-zaggedy line down the center. To the left I placed images that reminded me of the time I spent with him, my career at the time, feelings of ecstasy and pain, of shoulds, attachment, anger and loss. To the right were images of female strength and indepence, women standing proudly, naked, firm, being individuals, confident and centered etc. I didn't envision the project and then make it, rather it just developed through the process of making and there was so much power in it. I lost myself in the making more than in any previous project. And the product (and process for that matter) reminded me of my own strength, of what I have been through before and to where I have come, of who I am deep down on my own regardless of partner. It was amazing. I am feeling quite strong these days, stronger than in a long time but also must let go of control, have faith to let the journey unfold how it will. So we will see where tonight takes me! Happy Creating.

Love and Peace XX

Asking for Guidance

A few weeks ago I was down, physically not so well, knowing I needed change, feeling I needed direction. I wandered into a local new age shop that has massage therapists, naturopaths, tarot readings, clairvoyents, Reiki, etc. along with books, stones, incense and the like. I always find the energy in the place warm and nurturing and at times have seen a naturopath or had a massage. This time I was seeking some positive affirmation cards or something of the like. As I mentioned in a previous post I ended up going to the theosophical society bookstore and purchasing the Simple Abundance book that I've blogged about, but before leaving this little shop I asked the woman at the counter about positive affirmations books or something like that. After looking through the Louise Hay section she paused and then suggested a deck of daily guidance angel cards. Now I have been known to see clairvoyents on rare occasions and have dabbled in tarot but angel cards didn't really seem like me. After all I profess to be a Buddhist, and the angels seemed a bit floofy, but for some reason these cards spoke to me. I sat down in a chair at the shop, opened the box, closed my eyes and pulled out a card that was exactly what I needed at the time. So I surprised myself and purchased them. Every few days I dip into the box and pull out cards that always seem to fit perfectly and they provide positive guidance. I don't know if it is coincidence, guidance from Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, God, angels, the collective consciousness or simply my own inner wisdom but using cards such as these or tarot has sometimes provided me with important guidance I can't dismiss. It taps into something, whatever label you want to put on it, something wise and loving.

So lately I have been doing a lot more prayer and periodically asking for guidance and it has come in a variety of forms. This afternoon as I was putting my son down for his nap my mind wandered back to some creative ideas I've had. One in particular was on my mind, some ideas regarding a children's book I have been composing in my head. As I was envisioning the book I was fantasizing about how I'd like to take some art classes again and spend more time doing creative work. Of course this is what this blog is all about, returning to a creative life. When I left the bedroom I thought of the angel cards, so I picked them up, sat down on the couch and shuffled them with my eyes closed. As usual, I shuffled until a card fell or jumped out of the deck. I chose 3 cards this way then turned them over to see the full picture. Once again I received perfect cards - Creative Project, Go For It, and Release and Surrender.

Creative Project mentions how my soul longs to express itself creatively and that the angels are guiding me to infuse creativity into my life, that creative expression makes me feel alive and excited and ignites my passion for life. Reading further into the little booklet which comes with the cards, it gives further advice, saying they are guiding me and that it doesn't matter if my artistry is market ready. The important part is allowing freedom of expression. It suggests to work on creative projects, enroll in that class, and that a meaningful career will come through ways unimaginable right now but to keep on the path. So I guess the lessons for today are 1. to make time to express creatively and 2. to open up to receive support and guidance from your own angels, whether they are human or etherial as there is great wisdom out there!

Peace and Love XX

This week my creative endeavours were limited to sculpting with playdough, drawing with crayons, playing dress-up and the most challenging of the lot, coming up with impromptu stories to tell my son as he drifted off to sleep. These stories are his latest fascination and he asks for them multiple times per day (rather than just at bedtime) not even waiting for one to finish before asking for another. Sometimes I tell him embellished tales of my childhood or journeys in foreign countries, the story of how he was born or of when mommy and daddy met, but I also make up stories to exercise my imagination. There once was a _ who ......Some leave a lot to be desired, others have potential. I keep notes on the latter in case someday I might develop them into something publishable. You never know. It's really a great way to keep the mind sharp and the creative juices flowing. Try it with your favourite toddler!

Interestingly as I have been taking care of myself more and opening up, other creative ideas have been flowing too. I am in the process of developing a number of ideas for community projects and organisations and hope to turn some of them into a career. Stay tuned for more news on that. The lesson is, make time, nurture yourself and your creativity and a trickle turns into a waterfall!

The August chapter page in Simple Abundance states, "Let a seasonally sanctioned sojourn of slow joys refill the authentic reservoir of creative energy. This month on the Simple Abundance path we commit to discovering, acknowledging, appreciating, owning, and honouring our authentic gifts, transforming not only our own lives, but the lives of those we love." In the first entry for the month she mentions that we each posess an exquisite extraordinary gift and she suggests we devote August to discovering, recovering and celebrating our creativity, the sacred conduit to access our authentic self. Its never too late to reclaim our gifts, resuscitate a dream and live authentically.....so let's take time to daydream this month. Happy creating.

Love and Peace XX