Sharing

At Wednesday night's art therapy group, we began by drawing ourselves as a landscape. Mine had boulders in the foreground, with bits of grass and a butterfly, beautiful but a bit rocky....beyond were mountains and on the other side was a lush green valley and sea, some hurdles to cross but getting there. Next we were given a lump of clay and all 5 of us present were to make a sculpture as a group without speaking. I found myself a little intimidated by the medium and by doing group work. I started out strong but when my first addition fell over I grew timid and sat back watching for a while, but later I was able to contribute more. We made a fantastical scene and afterward we were to spend some time writing about the story of the piece. Here are some of my crazy writings..."King Henry is an island, he holds a talisman, a figure, a reminder of his love. In the magical seas that crash at his shores colours delight. Dog with two legs debates with a large human-nosed elephant wearing a dunce cap, but who will win the debate? not he who other judge as ignorant. A boat holds a weary traveller who unexpectedly catches a talking smiling fish. A nearby whale swallows a mermaid. Although Henry is an island he is connected in many ways - bridges abound, connecting him with the magic taking place all around him. Giant magenta flowers blossom, snails swim in circles, boulders bounce a top waves, sunny faces gaze outward as if guarding Henry, watching for what may come. Lotus blossoms float peacefully, snake tongues reach out, peacocks frolic, children riding rainbows..."

That was the crazy scene we created (which of course every one described completely differently). Afterward we did a drawing about our process or experiences in group. I drew many coloured figures in small groups, me standing at the front looking out towards them all around me, interacting with all the diversity but on the fringes of groups. I quite liked the image even though I didn't really like the group project in this context. It was a great learning experience though as we all explored how we operate in groups, what comes up for us. I lost a lot of my confidence and creative freedom working with others, interesting to gain some understanding of that.

Speaking of group/community, this week I also did some scrounging, finding pre-loved objects at garage sales and picking up things people have thrown to the side of the road. What great finds! I love the connection to others gained through re-using objects. It feels like sharing and It's a fabulous creative outlet, finding others' trash and using it in new ways, in my home, as part of my wardrobe when combined with other interesting pieces, or as gifts. This week I found all of the above and more, a green bracelet that looks a bit like Asian grass wrapped in enamel, a necklace that is 5 large sculpted leaves on a wire, another that has large green glass beads which I adore, some clothing and accessories for myself, and my niece (including a gold fake Louis Viutton handbag which she will love), and a few items for my sister for her birthday which I can't list here for fear of ruining the surprise but finding the perfect unique gift is a fun creative endeavour. I hope you find as lovely gems as have recently. Happy treasure hunting!

Falling

In my previous post I wrote about my work in my art therapy group. That night my images were of women without feet. As i was leaving the building I lost my footing and fell down a flight of stairs. I didn't think much of it until the next day. When I woke I could barely move I was in such pain from the impact and my ankles, shins and knees were scraped and bruised. It took me a few days to recover. The connection between my artwork and the fall didn't occur to me until now. Perhaps i needed to fall in order to find my feet again.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been busy with the hunt for a new job but creative ideas continue to flow. As inspiration I have covered an entire wall in my home with my son's artwork , a beautiful reminder of a pure creative impulse. Without trying to create something specific, just exploring colours and movement, he creates such incredible beauty.

Happy Creating. Love and Peace XX

Go For It! There's a rainbow waiting

At Wednesday's art therapy group we began by doing a simple warm-up. She called it a "graffiti" drawing whatever that meant to us individually, but she asked us to focus on letting go of the day. I drew a wall and sketched statements about all the worries and frustrations from my day then drew pink wings attached to the wall and wrote "take them away on angel's wings".

Next we picked a haiku poem and were to do an art project in relation to it. I chose two. The first was "A summer shower - a woman sits alone gazing outside." I think I liked that one because I have so often sat and watched the rain or people pass out a window with a cup of tea and got lost in contemplation, daydreams and such. I did a sketch with pencils, some graphite and some coloured, of a large window and sill. A tea cup sat steaming on the sill, an empty chair sat in front of it. In the window hung a green branch, a red house beneath, a blue sky, and a warm yellow glow. I remembered that the poem had mentioned a shower but I felt like making it sunny. I then skethced a figure of a naked woman on a magazine page with the pattern of a cloud studded sky then cut her out and placed her on the chair. She had a round bottom and her back was to the viewer, half facing the window. When I was cutting I accidentally ripped her feet off and just left them. Later as I was puting some materials away I reached into a bin and felt sand. It seemed right to have the ground be sandy, as if her feet were stuck in there. Unfortunately when I felt the sand I didn't realise it was red sand but I used it anyway even though it ended up different than I expected. I completed that piece quickly and moved on to a second poem, "A nightingale's song Brings me out of a dream: The morning glows."

I chose to do another collage with magazine images as I did last week, and similarly the page was divided only this time I let the division find itself rather than drawing it in. On the right was a girl with a not so happy face covered by a blanket. A blue bird shape hung above her, pointing towards the division. Below her was a picture of a man at a desk covered in papers and one of a red fox. There was also a picture of deep blue water to her right. On the left side of the page I chose very colorful pictures of plants and animals, of swirling skirts and people smiling, trees flowers, faces. It was full of life and joy.

After we completed our works the facilitator asked us to ask our image(s) "What does the image want to do?" we were to use our non-dominant hand and answer this and then write out as many questions as we would like to ask the image as if we were getting to know it. I can't remember all that I wrote but I think both women were waiting and watching, wanting to go outside, participate, etc. but neither had feet! Later we asked is there any message for me now? Does the image have something to say to me? I wrote quite a lot on the page but at the end came, "It's sunny outside, find your feet and go for it!" "There's a rainbow waiting" Interestingly two other women in the group wrote very similar things. One woman's said "Go For It" and spoke of having trust and another woman's said, "Just do it" and also spoke of trusting. So I suppose that was the message for the week. To trust (I like the word faith better) and go for it! There is a rainbow waiting!

Love and Peace
XX

Gaining Confidence

I have my art therapy group again tonight and I realise that I haven't blogged about it for a couple of weeks so I better write a little bit before I leave the house for tonight's session. I missed the fourth session because my friend, who has kindly offered to take care of my son while I attend, was sick, but I hear they had an interesting experience doing silent group work, multiple people working on the same piece! For the fifth session last week we began by drawing with both hands again, then were to draw the rain as it fell. How interesting it was to see how differently we portrayed rain! The third exercise was to draw our energy at the time. I felt very fresh and new, and a little quiet and timid, so I drew a girl in a pink dress holding balloons. Her teddy sat on the bed behind her. After the warm ups we delved into the main project for the evening. We were to pick one or more of the statements on the board and do a related artwork. Some were related to childhood memories and the path of life. I chose one that said "A time you made a successful step toward independence". My first vision was a sillouhette of a woman (me I suppose) in a flowing rainbow dress dancing barefoot next to the beach. I remembered the time before I met my current partner when I was discovering myself. I drew the black figure looking upwards with hair blowing backwards, the dress billowing below in various colours of purple. Flowers were blooming in a tree next to me and I was barefoot on the grass with the beach to my left. It wa s time I did a lot of paintings related to seeds so I wrote "Seed" and "Dance in the center of the circle" because I consciously made an effort to belong and began dancing at the center of dance events rather than at the periphery and amazingly as soon as I decided I belonged, I did. I made more friends, I had a lot of interest from potential suitors, etc.

After revisiting that powerful time in my past I then began a collage about a previous partner, someone I was in a passionate and tumultuous affair with for seven years off and on before finally breaking away. My heart was broken again and again but I continued to be drawn to him because he showed me that I could love and be loved deeply. I began by drawing a big black zig-zaggedy line down the center. To the left I placed images that reminded me of the time I spent with him, my career at the time, feelings of ecstasy and pain, of shoulds, attachment, anger and loss. To the right were images of female strength and indepence, women standing proudly, naked, firm, being individuals, confident and centered etc. I didn't envision the project and then make it, rather it just developed through the process of making and there was so much power in it. I lost myself in the making more than in any previous project. And the product (and process for that matter) reminded me of my own strength, of what I have been through before and to where I have come, of who I am deep down on my own regardless of partner. It was amazing. I am feeling quite strong these days, stronger than in a long time but also must let go of control, have faith to let the journey unfold how it will. So we will see where tonight takes me! Happy Creating.

Love and Peace XX

Asking for Guidance

A few weeks ago I was down, physically not so well, knowing I needed change, feeling I needed direction. I wandered into a local new age shop that has massage therapists, naturopaths, tarot readings, clairvoyents, Reiki, etc. along with books, stones, incense and the like. I always find the energy in the place warm and nurturing and at times have seen a naturopath or had a massage. This time I was seeking some positive affirmation cards or something of the like. As I mentioned in a previous post I ended up going to the theosophical society bookstore and purchasing the Simple Abundance book that I've blogged about, but before leaving this little shop I asked the woman at the counter about positive affirmations books or something like that. After looking through the Louise Hay section she paused and then suggested a deck of daily guidance angel cards. Now I have been known to see clairvoyents on rare occasions and have dabbled in tarot but angel cards didn't really seem like me. After all I profess to be a Buddhist, and the angels seemed a bit floofy, but for some reason these cards spoke to me. I sat down in a chair at the shop, opened the box, closed my eyes and pulled out a card that was exactly what I needed at the time. So I surprised myself and purchased them. Every few days I dip into the box and pull out cards that always seem to fit perfectly and they provide positive guidance. I don't know if it is coincidence, guidance from Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, God, angels, the collective consciousness or simply my own inner wisdom but using cards such as these or tarot has sometimes provided me with important guidance I can't dismiss. It taps into something, whatever label you want to put on it, something wise and loving.

So lately I have been doing a lot more prayer and periodically asking for guidance and it has come in a variety of forms. This afternoon as I was putting my son down for his nap my mind wandered back to some creative ideas I've had. One in particular was on my mind, some ideas regarding a children's book I have been composing in my head. As I was envisioning the book I was fantasizing about how I'd like to take some art classes again and spend more time doing creative work. Of course this is what this blog is all about, returning to a creative life. When I left the bedroom I thought of the angel cards, so I picked them up, sat down on the couch and shuffled them with my eyes closed. As usual, I shuffled until a card fell or jumped out of the deck. I chose 3 cards this way then turned them over to see the full picture. Once again I received perfect cards - Creative Project, Go For It, and Release and Surrender.

Creative Project mentions how my soul longs to express itself creatively and that the angels are guiding me to infuse creativity into my life, that creative expression makes me feel alive and excited and ignites my passion for life. Reading further into the little booklet which comes with the cards, it gives further advice, saying they are guiding me and that it doesn't matter if my artistry is market ready. The important part is allowing freedom of expression. It suggests to work on creative projects, enroll in that class, and that a meaningful career will come through ways unimaginable right now but to keep on the path. So I guess the lessons for today are 1. to make time to express creatively and 2. to open up to receive support and guidance from your own angels, whether they are human or etherial as there is great wisdom out there!

Peace and Love XX

This week my creative endeavours were limited to sculpting with playdough, drawing with crayons, playing dress-up and the most challenging of the lot, coming up with impromptu stories to tell my son as he drifted off to sleep. These stories are his latest fascination and he asks for them multiple times per day (rather than just at bedtime) not even waiting for one to finish before asking for another. Sometimes I tell him embellished tales of my childhood or journeys in foreign countries, the story of how he was born or of when mommy and daddy met, but I also make up stories to exercise my imagination. There once was a _ who ......Some leave a lot to be desired, others have potential. I keep notes on the latter in case someday I might develop them into something publishable. You never know. It's really a great way to keep the mind sharp and the creative juices flowing. Try it with your favourite toddler!

Interestingly as I have been taking care of myself more and opening up, other creative ideas have been flowing too. I am in the process of developing a number of ideas for community projects and organisations and hope to turn some of them into a career. Stay tuned for more news on that. The lesson is, make time, nurture yourself and your creativity and a trickle turns into a waterfall!

The August chapter page in Simple Abundance states, "Let a seasonally sanctioned sojourn of slow joys refill the authentic reservoir of creative energy. This month on the Simple Abundance path we commit to discovering, acknowledging, appreciating, owning, and honouring our authentic gifts, transforming not only our own lives, but the lives of those we love." In the first entry for the month she mentions that we each posess an exquisite extraordinary gift and she suggests we devote August to discovering, recovering and celebrating our creativity, the sacred conduit to access our authentic self. Its never too late to reclaim our gifts, resuscitate a dream and live authentically.....so let's take time to daydream this month. Happy creating.

Love and Peace XX

Haiku

Tonight at session three of my art therapy group we began by drawing with both hands simultaneously. I'd never tried it before and it was harder than I thought. I easily started doing a sort of scribble drawing with my eyes closed but when I opened them again I had a harder time. I wanted to use one hand or the other, rather than both. I also felt timid venturing over to the left side of the page with the yellow in my right hand or onto the right side with the green in my left. It was an interesting exercise that I'd like to explore again.

Our therapist then had us draw a circle on the page before closing our eyes and focusing on our breath. When we became centered she asked us "where is your self located?" and "what do you know about your centre?" Not thinking too much we were supposed to feel the questions and focus on any images that arose. We then opened our eyes and created what we had seen. The right half of my circle outline was made of a bent female figure in red. Her head was at the top looking inward towards the centre and her body followed the circle around to the bottom where her feet bent under her knees, escaping the boundaries of the circle. Her hand came forward into the center of the circle ending with her hand directed upwards. In the centre of the cirlce there was a white/yellow radiating glow, surrounded by blackness with dabs of earthy green. After we finished we described out loud what we drew, in the first person, as if our artwork was speaking... I am hunched, protective, nurturing, hidden, glowing, warm, grounded.....my self is in my belly....another member of the group commented that it was courageous to go outside of the circle which I hadn't even realised myself. I really felt as if I was hiding or protecting my self which I suppose makes sense as there were hurtful words spoken and hearts made sore this week and I am still perhaps smarting from issues at work over the last month.

After the warm-up we were to write a haiku poem about ourselves and then do a piece of artwork about it. Haiku she explained is a 5 syllable line, a 7 syllable line and then a 5 syllable line again. She said it was ok if we didn't stick to the haiku format if something was flowing. Mine ended up being 5-5-7-6-5 and read something like the following.

Toes sink in the sand

at the ocean's edge

I pause, waiting for Summer

Still, I watch the waves dance

Soon I will dance too

I sketched feet (with graphite pencil) on yellow sand next to the blue playful water (using watercolour). The figure lifts her pink/purple skirt to expose the legs, the fingers simple pencil outlines grabbing tight to the flowing folds of the colourful fabric. The calves and feet are the focus of the drawing. I suppose this may have come partially from my head (rather than the heart) since as I mentioned last week, a similar image arose in my head in response to the poems that were read last week. But this week I really feel like a deep knowing has occurred and now I am pausing, waiting, watching for the right time to act and this image seemed appopriate. Steady, grounded and strong, yet playful, knowing, watching, pausing at the edge of change.

I just realised that I could edit the above to fit in Haiku format...

Toes sink in the sand

I pause, waiting for Summer

At the Ocean's edge

I watch the waves Dance

Standing still, I'll dance soon too

When I am ready

I think I will try some more this week. How about you?

Love and Peace XX